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Am I

I couldn’t sleep tonight, and all I could think about was making a difference in the world. Somehow I stumbled across this forum in my quest to find away to make the world a better place. I read a few of the stories and sobbed the whole time. I had so many tears in my eyes that I could barely see. I knew I wanted to help speak out against the horrid crime, and suddenly, in the midst of all this, I remembered something. When I was little I would take baths with my sister. And since I continued to love my sister and wanted to do everything with her, when I got to the age when I wanted to try showering, she got in with me. It seemed normal, since we had always bathed together. I remember looking at her and just feeling overwhelmed with love for my baby sister. It was simply the kind of love you feel for family, and so I hugged her. I think I was about 7 or 8 and she around 4 or 5, and I had the most innocent of intentions, but when I hugged her it didn’t feel right. Then I remembered what other kids called “sex.” I had heard about it first at school, then from my mother who wanted me to hear about it from her. She told me it was a wonderful thing God has enabled for a married man and woman to do when they loved each other. I thought about what my mother had said, and I felt sick. They way it had been described to me on the playground was “boob to boob and private to private,” and here I was naked and touching my sister. I felt horrible and stopped immediately. After reading some stories on this forum, that time which I had forgotten about came to mind. It made me wonder if the girl who is sleeping down the hall isn’t sleeping at all, but instead is awake thinking of what I’ve done to her. What if, through a foolish, innocent mistake, I’ve ruined my little sister’s life forever?

2 comments

  • Ann
  • Alissa Ackerman

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