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April 8th, 2016

This date changed my life.
This was the date that lifted the rug, and uncovered all of the ill, suppressed memories and emotions that I had brushed under it.
This was the date that opened my eyes to the exact number of times that I had been sexually assaulted: 6.
Society creates these stigmas, stereotypes and ‘profiles’ of rapists and the victims who fell to them.
I believed those stereotypes until this day that opened my eyes forever.
I was in love once. He was a genuine, caring, selfless and loving man who knew me and my experiences inside and out.
We agreed to stop seeing each other after I received a message from his girlfriend. After time had healed my wounds, I agreed to meet him at ‘our’ bar.
This man was the only man that I had willingly given myself to in the past, and I arrived at this realization after I had awoken from a drunken stupor to him inside of me, on top of me, demanding that I tell him I love him. I vividly remember every, single detail: his laugh when I told him to get off of me, the sting from the slap against my face, the sound of the nightstand falling over, the smell of the alcohol on his breath. He blatantly laughed in my face when I told him to stop. When I finally was able to build the strength to push his giant body off of mine, he continued laughing at the fact that there was blood on the bed. To this day, he calls me a liar.
Love truly blinds those who fall under its spell. This man that I had loved and trusted with my heart and soul, was nothing more than a strong, perverted, manipulative, narcissistic sociopath.
I went into a deep depression after that. Medications did not help; only numbed the parts of me that I was still feeling. Almost 2 years later, I am still recovering. Mentally and emotionally I am detached from my surroundings. However, with each day I am rising. I had my soul stolen from the core of my body, and I am still standing. This is not the end.

— Survivor, age 26

1 comment

  • Alexis


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