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army

it was 20 years ago
i was a new soldier and on a course for 2 month to a job i wanted very much.
my commander pretended to be friendly and i let him know me and other friends were planing to go out without permission in the evening.
he didn’t stop us.
when we returned he waited for us and took me for a talk threatening that i will lose my job if he will tell what happened then he raped me. i was saying no no stop stop
and he was saying you know you like it. repeatedly.
i then took an endless shower.
i realize this was very low. i was shocked. i climbed a tree and waited the morning. a miluimnik (reserve soldier) that was with us was very angry to hear what happened and went into the office and screamed at him, because he was still threatening to give us troubles for living the base in the evening.
i saw him once after.
for years i imagined myself going to his wife and kids telling them what happened .
i think the army know many situations like that but its a norm.
i think he was used to do what he did.
his name was amir the base was in the northern part of israel in the zalmon base.
i remember he used face lotion. i never met before a male using face lotion. i dont live in israel now. i hope that my children wont serve. i dont think its safe for a girl to serve.
i waited years to have a site like this i think its very important, i wish i had done it myself.

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