Ashly’s story

I found this website, and it has been just so helpful reading other stories I don’t feel so alone. All these survivors so strong. When I was first rapped I didn’t know it was rape I thought it was my fault and I told myself, well you put yourself in that situation so that’s what you get. It was three years ago I was only 19 at the time and my sister 16 and our friend also 16 we were invited to a guy friends house we went to school with. He had an older friend there he was 28. We were drinking all night none of us girls drank so this was new for us. I don’t remember much but what I do remember is the 28 year old took my friend out side and they were out there for awhile my sister went to the guest room to sleep so I was left with our so called friend. I remember worrying about my friend because she was out side for so long with this guy. I told the other guy that I was gonna stay up and wait for my friend but he said that they were just talking and she was fine after that I don’t remember to much. I know I was in his room and I just remember laying there as he was having sex with me and I came to when he got on top of me I told him to get off and I stubbled back to the guest room where my sister was asleep. The next morning our friend told us he had taken advantage of her and I never told anyone what happened to me because I was so ashamed and embarrassed. I just recently realized that that was not my fault and it was rape. And a few years after all that I was in a similar situation I was 21 when I went to a party with a few guy friends I went to school with I went alone I trusted these guys I don’t remember much I remember drinking a beer playing beer pong and one of the guys there had Xanax I had asked for one and that’s the last thing I remember I remember waking up the next morning on the couch feeling really out of it I got up and noticed my underwear was on the floor next to me and I knew something wasn’t right. My phone and car were missing. I found my car thank God. The guy that rapped me stole it. I went home and told my step mom I thought I was rapped we went to the hospital and one of the guys that was there told my sister that I was rapped. It was along day at the hospital and having to deal with the rape kit and talking to the police. What had happened was the guy who rapped me kept giving me pills and took me to the bathroom and locked the door I don’t know what all was done to me I have this memory that came back to me about a year ago I remember him being on top of me on the couch and I kept telling him to get off. It’s sad cuz my so called guy friends didn’t stop it instead they video taped it and just kept quiet about the whole thing. In this whole process I found out i’m not the only girl he has done this to. Today I’m in the middle of court and I’m going through so much. I tried to kill myself in October because I just couldn’t take the pain anymore, but I can honestly say I’m glad I didn’t, and I’m here today to tell my story and to put this guy behind bars.

— Ashly, age 23