We were into each other. I thought. We were “talking” for about a month until we decided to go on a date. Although we were only talking for a month, we were freshman in high school and curious. Our texts got a little sexual at times. But that was all. In school we would talk and sit next to each other, never anything weird. Then the day of the movie came, and the question came in a text form: “Are we gonna do anything tonight?”
The question lingered for a moment, then my response, “nothing too crazy”
The following texts were questions like, “What can I do?”, “What will you do?”, “How far can I go?”
Through the texts I stuck to my ground, I told him I didn’t want to do anything more than a little outside touching. He said that was fine, and that he respected how I felt. Shortly after, we met at the movie theater. I don’t remember what movie we saw. The first 20(ish) minutes of the movie was okay, holding hands and watching it. Then he turns to me and kisses me. I kiss back and we start to make out. We stop for a bit and then start again. His hands started moving around my body, (I was wearing a skirt), around my legs and he tried up my shirt, but I started to move away from him. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him I didn’t want him to go any further than the outside.
A little while went on and we began kissing again, his hand went up my skirt, under my underwear and inside of me. I grabbed his arm and told him to stop. He wouldn’t. He told me to shut up and not make a scene. I kept trying to push his arm and hand away but I was too weak. It hurt. He made me bleed. I was scared and silent. If I made a scene he would have stopped.
— Mariah, age 17
Dear Mariah – thank you so much for sharing your story here. You are not alone and what happened to you WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. You said no and that is enough!!! It might be that if you’d made a scene he would have stopped (which still wouldn’t make it your fault) but it might also be that he would have gotten even more violent. You did what matters and that is survive and I’m so grateful you did.
I would encourage you to talk to someone you trust about what happened. A counselor or therapist or a family member/friend you trust? You don’t have to tell everything right away – YOU are in control of your story. I believe you can heal from this but it will take hard work and time. But you can do it and you deserve to heal. I believe in you!!! Love, Alexis
Mariah – you did something VERY brave and smart – you could not have been more clear about what you wanted and what you expected in advance – the guy did what he did planned and on purpose! It was not your fault, he very well may have hurt you worse if you fought. Please try to talk to someone, you have been attacked and it’s very normal to feel bad and scared.You have handled yourself in a very smart brave caring way – stay strong!