If it were to ever happen to anyone. I wish it would happen to me again as I don’t wish this on my darkest enemy.
It was Friday and I was blessed with a sunny day off. I had went into the dispatch office in the morning asking if there was any work. With a office full of people my dispatch perked up “congratulations here is you’re 2 year bonus. With smiles from the older fellows and another rude comment form Kurt “i wonder whose going to get in you’re pants first”. Not thinking much of the silly game the office plays i went home and set up the hammock in the back yard and played fetch with the neighbors dog Sophie. It was a lazy day and a well needed one at that. It had been a short cold winter but as us working outside can make a person bitter. The fire pit was burning and the BBQ started and 6pm rolled around briskly. It was April 1st and it was a summery spring for our brutal northern winters. Kaylon my roommate went and got steaks as I prepared everything else for supper. Curtis and his wife Holly came over and we all had a fire and a BBQ. Martin a long time friend; roommate of 11 months; worked together for 2 years at a local trucking company . I was a swamper on a bed truck a and he was a tractor driver. I’ve spent 3 years in the oil patch and another 2 in carpentry. I am used to working around men and I’m used to drinking. By the time supper was over since it was an all day episode I was on my 5th twisted tea. My 5th 5% drink. Martin calls asking if I wanted to go out drinking. He says he’s with Tasha and a couple other girls. I only know Tasha so I say yes. Thirty minutes roll by until I ear them coming up the driveway. Of course they have been drinking and driving. Shocker. I hope in and we go to the strippers and the first thing we do is play a game of pool. After getting my but whipped at a game of pool we go and have 1 shot and a drink. At this moment I’m almost ready to go home. I felt dizzy. This is all I remember. The next thing I know I’m shooting forward in my bed gasping for air. Not because I’m out of breath but because I woke up. I woke up in a room the blanket was foreign and it was dark. I was in my room and someone covered my window and I have the blanket that was in the closet on my bed? My throat hurt was swollen which explained the gasping. Martin was beside me but it was to dark to see if I had clothes on or not. I laid back down slowly as my head was spinning and laid right into my pukey hair. I stumbled past my roommates room into the bathroom. I stopped. I stopped in shock of my reflection. You could see two perfect hand marks around my throat. My tongue hurt and as I examine it in the mirror and I realize that I have a chunk bitten off. As I keep examining my foreign body I find more puke and bruises. My arms were covered in bruises…my cheek had a gash…scratches on my back…5” round bruise on butt. I tried to shower it off but I just busted out crying? What were these tears from? After my shower I went back in to my room and it was covered in puke. Black puke? Martin had clothes on and was on the phone with Tyler and they had made plans for breakfast. Tyler looked at me with a blank stare and I just assumed he was high on weed. During our breakfast Martin was cracking jokes about how he strangled me until I puked and how he smacked my ass until all the sass came out. We laughed it off as if nothing happened. After breakfast I drove to Heidi’s house to put together my night. All I knew was I felt dizzy and I didn’t remember anything. We drove to Tyler’s house and he explained that he sold Martin Blow that night and that’s why he was at the bar. I don’t remember seeing him there…but I believed him as Martin just kind of went down this life path. He then proceeded to tell me that Martin told the cab to go to my house and was pushy once we got there to go inside with me. Tyler just assumed that since we were friends he was going to tuck me in and sleep in the spare room. I ended up doing a rape kit although the little city we live in doesn’t have the date rape drug testing. Everything’s at crown counsel. I can’t talk to guys. I’m completely insecure with my self. I want the old me back. The powerful girl I was before some guy I thought was my friend took my power. I never even let my dad have this power over me. I never let no one.
Now some can say I can pursue my life being forever bitter, a man hater, a society dead beat but I’ve been trying to see it from a different stand point. Maybe I was to hard? Maybe my life path was telling me I’m supposed to be soft? Being soft is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Especially after this and don’t get me wrong. I still cry my self to sleep.
— Survivor, age 21