Bitter Ex-Lover

It wasn’t more than a month ago. I woke up at 9am with 4 texts 1 Kik messages 3 phone calls and one twitter DM from my ex. I stared at my phone for 2 more hour afraid to call him back because all of the messages said “Luna, Call me now. ASAP!” Eventually I texted back saying “what do you want?” And he messaged back “I said call me!”
I called and he was clearly upset. Going on and on saying he wanted to see me and talk to me today. I said No I have a boyfriend.
“You were mines first!”
After a lot of convincing I decided to go see him with the compromise that I would only stay for 45 minutes. So I got my best pocket knife, put it in my pocket and got in my car and drove to his house. He was in his car when I showed up and he told me to get in because he had to drop his little cousin off. So I quietly get in the backseat. We drop his cousin off and he makes me get in the front. He starts touching my face and hair complimenting me on my appearance. I told him not to touch me. He got mad and started saying how wrong I was to stop talking to him and how I was wrong to cut him out of my life and I was his girlfriend and he had me first and how I should leave my boyfriend and I kept saying “No you were never my boyfriend.” I met him online. We talked for a week, met in person, went to his house and had sex, I immediately regretted it. He stopped talking to me for 2 months so I moved on with my current boyfriend of two years.

We got back to his house. I said I’d stay for 30 more minutes. I went inside and people were on the couch so he said let’s go to his room so we could talk. I went in and stood there. He decided to pick me up and toss me on to his bed. When I tried to get up he grabs me by my legs and pulls me to the edge of the bed so he is positioned between my legs. I quickly try to move away but I can’t. And I said quit it. He kept say I was his. He had me first and I haven’t seen him in two years. He started moving his hands up my shirt and I kept saying “No stop!” And pushing his hands away. He pushed me on my back and held me down and pulled my shirt and bra up. I started kicking and clawing at his arm. But it didn’t help. He started unbuttoning my pants I held my pants up trying really hard to keep them up and I was still kicking. He had his other hand around my neck now on top of me and forcing me to kiss him. The whole time I was saying stop and holding up my pants and trying to twist myself away. He got his hands down my pants. I said “No! Stop!” And kept squirming and trying to pull his hand away. He finally gave up and let me go and I left immediately.
The next day I stayed with my boyfriend. We had sex and I started crying afterwards. I tried to hide it by turning away from him and pretending to be asleep. But he noticed that my breathing was weird so he looked at my face and asked why I was crying at first I wouldn’t tell because I thought he’d be mad or in trouble because I’d gone to that guys house. He held me and assured me that I wasn’t in trouble and he still loved me and wasn’t mad. I felt a lot better since I told him but still thinking about it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

— Survivor, age 19