I was raped for the first time when I was 18 by an undercover cop. I had dissed him at a college party, I was followed by cop, ambushed from behind and was raped in a back alley and left me handcuffed to a pole naked for friends to find me. I was sexually assaulted a second time by the ex husband of a woman I was dating at the time on my birth day. I was 25 this time. He barged in while I was expecting a handy man from my apartment complex. Thankfully I lived under a policeman who herd the commotion he was stopped in the act and went to jail for 6 year still serving his sentence.
That same year I had a long time friend that was stationed with military in the city I now live. I had known him for 7 years, he was my late girlfriends brother, we had gotten each other through the difficult loss of his sister together. I didn’t want to spend thanks giving by myself. Although I had a hard time trusting men, I knew him or so I thought. I went to meet up with him at the military base. he had lured me there to rape and murder me. I was pressured to go into room where I was held down by 3 other men, I was gang raped, stabbed multiple times and tortured. I was found because military police had found my car in an area it was not supposed to be for civilians. Military tried to sweep under the rug only one of four men got jail time. He is already out on parole for good behavior.
From that encounter I acquired HIV. I thought that would be then end of me, each time I fought to have men jailed, not always winning but I fought like I fought to stay alive. Because if I didn’t fight who would? It’s hard, trust me. Only thing that kept me going afloat was great friends. My judgement wasn’t completely wrong about people. And as embarrassing as it is, and not everyone believed me. It taught me what I’m made of, what I can accomplish and that there is a higher power who hasn’t given up on me.
I’m sharing this to just say no matter how bad it gets, you survived it. Everything else may seem more difficult, but you are also already stronger, not weak at all You can get weather the storm and get through it .