Hi fellow survivors. I’ve written on this forum a few times before trying to be encouraging to those who are struggling with post rape trauma and all the crap that comes with it, but I’m reaching out to you for support now. It’s been about 9 months since a stranger raped me in my hotel room and I think I’ve been doing fairly well with recovery but I still have really bad nights. Last night was like any normal night (after an awesome date day/night with my boyfriend) and when the lights turned off and I closed my eyes to sleep all I could see was my rapist raping me over and over and over again. I couldn’t stop crying and had to go to the downstairs bed and take another Klonopin to finally fall asleep. Most nights are fine but I’m tired of these nights when I feel terrorized by my thoughts and I hate how it effects my boyfriend. He woke up too and had to take Benadryl to go back to sleep…. Does anyone have helpful tips o n how to get that rapist asshole out of my head on these bad nights?
I want to end this post by reminding everyone that we are strong survivors, even at these times when we feel so weak. Love you all and looking forward to sharing advice!
— Survivor, age 28