I was in a physically abusive relationship. This was when I was in my late teens and twenties. I finally was brave enough to leave the relationship after 10 years.
I met him when I was 15 years old. He had hit me before but he always promised to change. He went through rehab and I just always tried to help and change him. I remember a few nights in particular that were pretty bad. One was when we were living in Costa Rica and I thought he would kill me and I couldn’t find my plane ticket because he hid it. I ran barefoot outside and waited until he sobered up.
Another night was when he raped me and this event sticks out because of how painful it was. I was a virgin when I met him and he forced me to have anal sex. He was very drunk and it was very painful. I know now that there is something wrong with him, not me. I wish I would have left him sooner.
I still struggle with the anger, against everything and especially him and myself for just accepting what had happened. I am also angry because I felt I had to marry him because I lost my virginity to him. Angry at religion and parents as well. Thank you for letting me share my story. It is empowering to stand and talk about it.