Childhood Trauma

I want to share my story as a way to make sense of the drama in my life that is ruling over me. I never taught back then, this would have an enormous effect in the long term.

When I was 9, I moved to another village with my family. I was very nervous being at another school and trying to make other friends. There was this girl who seemed nice in my class, she had a bunch of friends. once at my home she came to play. In a room where my mom couldn’t see us, she forced me into kissing her. I tried to back away and said no. this was the beginning. I started to being really afraid of her and submissive and she had this effect on other classmates as well. It all worsened, she mad me do all sorts of sexual activities with her, I feel so gross thinking about it. I came back from school everyday crying, she always bullied me in front of everyone, and I once peed my pants because I was to afraid to leave her, afraid she would prank me…This all took place for 2 years I think, its all fussy. It was horrible, and I still blame myself for being so submissive in letting her bully and sexual assault me. Also because she was my age, and it doesn’t sound like the typical rape story… Because I didn’t talk about it with anyone, I couldn’t cope with it. I have avoided having boyfriends when puberty started… and the relationships that I have had were very unhealthy relationships, I fell in love with the monsters…

I opened up to my family when I was 22. It was hard, not everyone knows how to judge these stories, which are not typical rape stories.