Although I was not raped by my step-father, I was sexually molested in our home when I was a teenager. For many, many years I turned my shame inward, believing I was somehow at fault. When I finally told my mother, she said that she believed me, but did nothing. (They were divorced by then.) I found out later that she had told my younger sister that she did NOT believe me, in spite of years of her witnessing his inappropriate, and misogynistic behavior to both of her daughters. I now know that she was in denial, and sadly drank herself to death rather than face the truth.
Recently, while on the phone with my sister, we were both crying about what he had done to me, (she was the ONLY family member who had never doubted my accusation). It suddenly occurred to me that, here we were, years later, my sister and I, still carrying this burden of guilt and shame over what HE had done. I can’t explain why, but a calm came over me and I knew it was time to place all that shame that had poisoned our lives in the lap of the one it belonged to. I called him and confronted him, and to my great surprise, he admitted it! I told him everything I needed to say, let him know that he would never speak to me again, and from that moment on, I WAS FREE! My sister says that by doing that, I also set her FREE. Silence binds the shame to you. Speaking up breaks those chains. God Bless!
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