I was molested at 2, I remember waking and going to sleep with older boy on top of me, but I was also molested by my father until I was 6, I Kept That From happening to my sister. If you knew back than the highlight of my life was 5th grade promotion, I got over over 11 awards and it was the year of the lion king, I was one of three students to get a lion. At 9-10, I became an author and illustrator, me and a couple others did a book by ourselves for young authors. I was apart of an assemble, and choir first taste of theatre we did the play the Mikado. 14-15 we stated poetry slams I loved the library so much we inspired the teen center. I thank God, he made me different all I had was words, and art and music without these I would have died. My parents broke me. At 3 or 4 I had thoughts of running away. At 4-5 I had tried to runaway. At 6, I already thought the world would be better without me, that’s what I was being told in my house, every thing was my fault. I was 7 or 8 when I tried to commit suicide, for a while I wanted to die, my mother kept me from doing it. At 8, I saw my first psychiatrist that I could trust, the psychiatrist I seen when I was younger was because for a while my parents were having problems, eventually the divorced when I was 9. But by the time I had developed enough trust in my Dr. my sessions were over. I went years in silence being a good student, all I had was music, art and words. 6th and 7th, I was at Golden Christian Academy (GCA), Lephia, was my best friend and I had Shanna Kourtney was and always has been family. It was at 12, I found a different dance, praise dancing and when GCA expanded me and Lephia stopped being the only girls we actually had a class. Ashley and Lephia were my best friends, we expanded praise dancing to our choreography. I had went to St. Agatha/Aloysius Catholic school. I went to the library everyday after school, being a thinker school helped me find what I loved.
I got my first scholarship. It was $500. I went to Cleveland Central Catholic, I played my first team sport volleyball. I was the first and only freshmen to have a lead in the school Christmas play/musical. 10th grade year, during the school year, I transfered to JFK. Going to JFK, I knew alot of people from elementary, and the rest I met in the neighborhood. 10th grade year was one my most challenging years of high school, I tried to fit in but couldn’t, I had some honors classes(math and history) and regular classes. 10th grade there were a lot of mean girls, I got bullied for being smart, my teacher found out and gave all of those girls in-house detention, which got me more hate. 10th grade year for a number of weeks I lived with my father in lake county while working I commuted back and forth (4hr or more a day on RTA travel time), and still made it to school on time. 11th grade year I was sexually assaulted less than 500yds from school property at the bus stop on Harvard Ave. ,in front of national city bank, I was hurt and embarrassed a lot of kids stood by and laughed. I reported to school vice principal, he didn’t take me seriously, he made the student apologize, he actually smiled and said boys being boys and he was playing around. That would have never happened with Principal Eva Velez-Torres. I had alot of family and church friends.
What many people never knew, or failed to realize was I was a child that was sexually abused, I had been molested repeatedly. Before I hit 8 I was already a survivor of incest. I protected my little sister from being abused. At 15 I confronted the first man who betrayed my trust, and he denied it. I lived in a house where we didn’t talk. I lived in a house where I didn’t feel safe, loved or appreciated. I lived in a house where I never felt good enough or treasured. I lived in a house where I was treated differently, I was always made to feel less than. The spring I turned 19 was the last time I was in that house.
My second grade teacher knew something wasn’t right, she was the first to sound the alarm something was wrong. I wrote sentences with my vocabulary words, about running away. I only told 1 adult when I was 14 that I was molested. I am sure that their were other adults who suspected something, I found out as a teen that my first psychiatrist thought so by the time was ready to talk, we couldn’t. I found hard to talk to adults because the ones that were nice, kind and trustworthy things at home were not stable I moved. At 14 I had been at 5 different schools. I never went to middle school. I went to two different high schools.
At 18 I was sexually assaulted in the dorm at CSU. At 21-28 I was raped multiple times, by multiple people. Fall 2006 I was kidnaped and raped. I was 20 when I started to get treatment at the rape crisis center. I have reported to police, to find justice has a color. 2010 was the year that one of my rapist got a no bill for rape on his record, because even with evidence 13 white grand jury couldn’t understand my story.
Something else a lot of people may have knew is I was homeless from 18-21, I stayed in many family members houses, and friends home. I was in a nursing home/ rehabilitation center at 20, with my bf Christopher Logan. I had only a two family members visit on a weekly basis. I lived in a group home for 1 yr or Less and still managed to make 3.75. in 2005 I was a certified Home Health Aide by summer had completed my Nursing Assistant classes in September, had gotten my license in October. I have always been me, I have done for all of those I could and even those I shouldn’t have. I am the one who always stressed out from carrying the weight of the world of friend and family. I have lost many friends to violence, cancer and suicide.
I have a group that I support, and I trust these ladies with my life. I know that God is good, and theses things came to give me a Testimony. I am not mad at my family, I am just tired, I am tired of being misunderstood. I am tired of being dismissed. I am tired of faking. I am tired by two people not being real. I am tired of being lied to and on.
I am convinced that I will and continue to survive it all, I have survived verbal, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. IN CLOSING BE KIND, YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE SOMEONE IS ON THE ROAD, YOU BEING THERE COULD CHANGE SOMEONES LIFE, PARENTS BE VIGILANT WITH YOUR KIDS, BE SOFT ENOUGH THAT THEY CAN TRUST AND TALK TO YOU. #Survivor #Ilovemyfamily #IlovemyfriendsImadefamily #Ilovemyinthebloodfamily (church) #ilovethosewhosurvive #Ilovethoseunwritten #stoph8 #stophate #bekind
— Brianna Anderson, age 31
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