I am 33yrs old and married. I was raped my cousin when I was still young up to until I realized that what was happening was wrong and it is not supposed to happen to anyone. He would rape me whenever he get a chance of us being two in the house.
These thing affected me throughout my life, and I am being struggling to take it out of my mind. Every time my husband touches me, that moment pops in my mind immediately and it turns me off completely. I have not told anyone about this before, it is really messing with my life big time.
I have a daughter and it is always a problem to leave her in the house with her dad because I am scared he may do the same to her…though to me it was done by my cousin.
I see every man as weak as my cousin, at some points I do realize that I am being emotionally abusive to my husband because I always speak ‘rape’ but not telling that I am a victim.
When I look at all men, I see rapists and it does not feel good at all.
— Survivor, age 33
Dear survivor,
Thank you for sharing your story and your struggle. The effects of child sexual abuse and rape can be very long term, this is especially so when you’ve lived in silence. I believe that healing is possible and I believe that every survivor is capable of thriving. There are really wonderful resources available that can help you and I am happy to help you find them if you want. I want you to know that you are not alone and that you are incredibly brave and strong. Most men are good men, but your reaction makes so much sense, given your experience. I am sending you all the love I have in my heart and I will keep you in my thoughts. Light and love, Alissa
Thank you Alissa, I am feeling much better since I said it out.
Thank you.