Cousin’s Sexual Abuse

was 14 yrs. old when it happened and innocent at that time. My cousin was about 26 yrs old at that time and had 2 daughters, my niece. I used to go to their house to play with my nieces about 7 and 4 yrs of age. One day when I was there to visit them. I remember that I’ve got curious and read one of the newspaper that was in their cellar. It was an obscene newspaper and was in shock in reading the story and as far as I can remember the abuse happened at that very moment.

I didn’t remember if he force me to lay on his bed as I was reading it. But, it was clear to my mind that he was putting down my shorts and then starting rubbing and fingering my vagina. I didn’t stop him by saying “no,” but just closing my legs as a resistance. He stopped when something sticky came out of my vagina. I just went home after that incident. I thought it was the last time, but I was wrong.

The second time, he forced me to touch him. And even though I didn’t want to, his hands were way too stronger than mine so he succeeded. I felt so embarrassed and sick to my stomach because it was my first time to see and touch a man’s erect penis. I know at that moment that what he was doing is wrong. And when the time comes that he was visiting at our house and saw me. He would always touch my butt and greet me when I was washing the dishes. And I would always go far from him because I hated him. He would also asked me if I wanted to watch porn because he had many collections. But, I didn’t agree so he stopped.

The last time and the one thing that my mother only knew of the abuse was the time I was about to take a bath and was pooping fully naked. I saw him climbed in the ceiling because it has a little transparent iron sheets for the purpose of the sunlight to enter the comfort room when it’s daylight and he saw me naked. That time I already had fully grown breast so I cried in anger.

Then after that day, I didn’t see my cousin until this day on. I don’t even want to hear his name. I know my story is not as severe like anyone else’s who is dealing with it day by day or the effect of it. But, this is my story. It once affected my life but it will never stop me from living my life. It gives me trauma but I will never let anyone done much more than this to ruin my life ever. I will say that moving on is not easy but with the aid of almighty God it will.

Don’t be afraid to tell your story because that doesn’t define you and your beautiful and clean from the eyes of God. It’s not the victims fault, but it was on the perpetrator. Live a happy life and be free from the past. God loves us all.

– Aimi