I met this guy on tinder. we texted back and forth and flirted for a few days. After two weeks of doing that, we finally made plans to meet up and watch a movie. I felt comfortable inviting him over because I knew my roommates would be home and i live in a gated community with really strict security. We agreed we would watch a movie but i was open to the idea of doing more. I had 2 beers while we hung out and watched Netflix. We talked, laughed and got to know each other, it was all going very well. We started making out and i noticed things might be going further. I was ok with having sex, and i told him where to get the condom. When we started having sex, he was wearing a condom but by the time it was over he wasn’t. I looked at him horrified, and he mumbled something I couldn’t understand. I later realized he took it off when he knew I wouldn’t notice. He violated me. The next day my mother came to visit and I was forced to put the incident out of my mind for the time being to spend time with her. But now I’m constantly panicked, worried, and anxious that I might have contracted an STD from him. I confronted him about it and he seems to think that there was nothing wrong with what he did, and keeps insisting he’s “clean” whatever that means, like that justifies it. He seems to think that he had a right to remove the condom without asking me if it was ok. He even tried to make me feel bad about being rightly upset and concerned. I’m still really anxious and worried. I had to take a plan b the next day because i wasn’t on birth control, and I’ve gotten STD tests done. They’ve come back negative but I still worry because some stds have window periods and you have to retest to confirm results. I have horrible stress and anxiety about the situation which I suspect are causing physical symptoms, this only makes my health anxiety THAT much worse. I am now on anxiety medication which have helped my symptoms somewhat. I just hate that I feel so violated, and I hate what he did to me.
— Survivor, age 26
removing a condom during sex is assault. she consented to sex with a condom but not without one. so yes this story does belong on this site and so does any story where someone felt violated. never make a comment like that again.
Dear survivor – thank you so much for posting your story here. I am grateful that your tests have come back negative so far but understand the anxiety associated with waiting. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist about the anxiety and stress you’re experiencing. What you’re feeling is completely valid and sometimes having an outside voice to talk through things with can really help. You can get past this. I believe in you! Please keep taking care of yourself because you deserve to be taken care of! Sending you lots of love and support! Alexis