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Date Rape?

I’m a 28 year old single mother. I am a very tall woman and not skinny. I work in a steel mill and I’m the only woman working in the entire place. I don’t go out too often so when I do, I let loose, maybe too much.

Well with that being said, I think I was raped last night. I do not use this word lightly. I have been raped before as a child and put a man in prison for it. Be that as it may I went to a bar with 2 guys I work with. I’ve known these guys for roughly 6 months and became friends with both of them. I will call them T and J.

We’ve gone to the same bar and played pool before a couple times. Now I began sleeping with T a couple weeks ago in secret. Some of the night is a blur. So we are playing pool and drinking and talking. Having a good time! Well, T is way too drunk to drive so J and I decide to take him home. Than J will take me home since I was too drunk to drive also. We get to T’s house and get him inside. Both J and I help T in bed, then to the bathroom. While T is peeing, I flopped on the bed and just remember being so tired. I close my eyes and my head began to hurt. Somehow my mid length skirt is around my ass and I feel hands running up and down my legs, ass, and finally my vagina. I remember saying I was so tired and I wanted to go home. But I don’t remember opening my eyes at all until I felt a penis against my lips. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep. But not for sure.

Next thing, I know T is telling me to suck Js dick while T is pulling off my panties. I was confused and tired and did not protest. In my head, I knew I didn’t want to have sex with them both but I felt guilty for flirting with them at the bar. I pulled my mouth away and said out loud I wanted to go home multiple times after awhile I just stopped saying anything. I was giving oral to T as J had sex with me. At some point I even had an orgasm.

I don’t know what happened but I said something and J told T I was done. I sat up crying and noticed both guys had left the room and my first instinct was to run. I grabbed my stuff and walked out the door. I called my sister to come get me and continued to walk down the street. J found me and told me I worried him and he would take me home. I said no my sister would meet me at a store he could take me there. I got home safely.

I don’t have any bruises or pain and I’m not gonna report it because I’m not sure if it is rape. But I felt used and violated. Am I just experiencing buyers remorse?

— Survivor, age 28

1 comment

  • Alissa Ackerman

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