Hello, whoever may be reading this. I am 16 years old and I feel like it’s time to share my story for anyone that’s willing to listen. I have a boyfriend, he is 18 years old and to me he was great for the most part. We had been dating for about 10 months when he started to become extremely antsy. He would constantly ask if we could “do it” or just try it out and every single time I would say no. I figured it was harmless since he did have an older ex girlfriend that used to do it with him all the time.
Well, one night we were cuddling in my bed, watching one of those little movies on HBO when we started to kiss. I didn’t think anything of it since this was normal for us until all of a sudden he started to get on top of me. At the time I didn’t think he would do anything but lay there since we had had a huge discussion earlier that day about how I was a virgin and that I didn’t want to do anything like that right now. Well that’s what I thought until he started to put his hand down there and pull ‘it’ out… immediately I began to say no and “stop I don’t want to do this right now’ but that didn’t do anything to change his mind. He just wouldn’t listen to me. He had begun to do the act without my consent until I finally got the strength to pull him off of me. I didn’t realize what had happened right away but it was very clear the next day when he told me not to tell anyone about it. I had been raped; my virginity taken away from me by this monster that could never possibly understand the severity of what he had done.
Now similar, but less severe, things have happened in the past that should have allowed me to see this coming. He tried doing the same thing about 8 months into the relationship but I told him I was going to be late (my dad wanted me home) if he didn’t stop now. ‘It’ had only grazed me that day but that should have been huge warning sign for me right there. I had said no many times before that but it didn’t go through that time either.
In the beginning of the relationship, I had done nothing but kiss a boy that was it. So naturally I wasn’t really accustomed to what really happens after that. Well one day we were kissing and he became a bit handsy. he then proceeded to put his hand down my pants I told him what r u doing and no yet he was still trying so I actually had to grab his arm with both hands and pull it away just to stop him from doing this. This occurrence happened several times and always ended the same until I got tired of it and gave in.
I didn’t even realize any of that was wrong at the time. It was the actual rape that finally made me realize that I was in a really bad position and I needed to get out of there only one way that I knew how. After telling my best friend and allowing him to help me through this I was able to break up with him and get him out of my life. I didn’t press charges or anything as to avoid the emotional pain it would put me through. It’s been a month since the breakup and he still texts me almost every day. I have had anxiety ever since what happened and I’ve been scared that it could happen again ever since. I don’t really know how I will really feel better after all this but I do know that keeping your friends and family close is a must. I hope my story has helped someone else gain the courage to share theirs and open up about what’s happened to them so we can stop this from happening to other young women in the future.