I’m now 28 and going through eating disorder recovery along with trauma work. When I was in kindergarten my mom went back to work full time. She sent me to the same daycare my younger cousin went to. The owner ran it from her home (sometimes her sons would help out) there would only be a max of about 10 kids everyday. I don’t remember when it started, but it lasted for several months. Every nap time she would come and wake me up and had me come up stairs to her bedroom. It was usually me and another little girl, and she would touch us. Sometime in the early spring her younger son who was 15 at the time was playing with us outside. He wanted to play doctor with me. He ended up raping me. It has taken me a long time to grieve and be angry with my abusers. A part of me hopes they have suffered as much as I have if not more.
— Survivor, age 28
Dear survivor – thank you so much for sharing your story here. You are very brave. It is totally normal to be angry with your abusers and your grief is totally understandable. Please don’t judge yourself if you are still feeling grief or anger toward them. If you can, I would encourage you to find someone to talk to about what you’re feeling. Talking to someone can help you work through your emotions more than you already have without having to take all the weight yourself. You are very strong and brave and I’m grateful that you posted here. Sending you love, Alexis