I remember everything..I remember him screaming and his blows to my face. I hate him more than anything in the world. I feel as though he broke me. Till this day I can smell him. It makes me sick. As a young girl all I wanted was to my brother happy he was my, “best friend” or so I thought. He raped me and made me believe it was my fault. I used to be such a happy little girl even my own father said I came out smiling. Now, I can’t even smile without it hurting.. My own mother was abusive and walked right past the door as it happened and eventually left me. My oldest brother didn’t protect and my “dad” left. My rapist was all I had left for “family” I loved him. And he knew that and took full advantage. He took my innocence my childhood almost my life at points and damaged my soul for five years. I don’t sleep I have trouble with everything. To be very honest I hate myself, everything about me I hate with a passion. I look in the mirror everyday and see his face. I don’t even know who I am anymore..all I know is what he scarred into me..his words. Worthless. Nothing. Failure. Loser. Etc.. Till this day I remember and struggle..I’ve been in therapy for four years and its still hurts so much.. I’m losing hope.
— Sylvia, age 16