A couple months ago I was at a party with my friend. I didn’t expect to get as drunk as I did. I remember everything pretty clearly until I threw up. I do remember throwing up then heading to someone’s room to sleep because I was exhausted. I was just about asleep when some guy walked in and crawled into bed with me. He just said he was sleeping too, and I was too drunk to tell him no, so I just went to sleep. He gradually moved closer, kissed me, then started touching me. I asked him what he was doing and told him no, but I wasn’t forceful enough because I was drunk. All he said was “shh you’re fine” and “it’s okay” the entire time. I blacked out once or twice and I’m not sure for how long. The reason I don’t know how to classify the incident is because I remember allowing h im to do some stuff to me. But drunk people can’t consent can they? I’m confused!
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You said No and that’s all you needed to say. The guy at the party didn’t listen to you so that is called rape. No means No
There’s no such thing as needing to be “forceful enough” in your no. In fact, I personally would go further than that. Consent is an ACTIVE yes. And even if you consented to one thing, that doesn’t mean you gave blanket consent.
I can imagine you’re confused and I would definitely encourage you to go talk to a counselor. No matter what you call what happened, anything you’re feeling is valid and someone who is trained can help you work through all of your emotions. It can be a lot and overwhelming but you can do it! Love, Alexis