Drugged and Raped

It was the night of thanksgiving and my close girl friends had said we were all going out that night but we were going to pregame before at this guys apartment with a bunch of his friends. I knew of the guy who’s apartment we were going to and was close with his friends so i was looking forward to it and felt very comfortable going. I’d wrapped up warm because it was end of November in manhattan and we arrived at the place very full because of our thanksgiving meal that we joked saying we wouldn’t be able to get drunk on such full stomachs. I started drinking but don’t remember anything after that. Apparently I’d gotten so drunk so quickly I didn’t make it out and id been out to bed still wearing my scarf and winter clothes. I had been drugged purposely with a horse tranquilizer and when I was passed out in the bed, the guy who’s apartment we were at came in took off my tights and raped me. I woke up alone in the room but confused, fully clothed yet with my tights an underwear on the ground next to me. I felt violated and still haven’t told anyone except my best friend. The guy runs in the same circles so I feel silenced and I don’t know how to handle this. It’s been two years now and I am only just saying these words out loud, I’ve surpressed them for too long. They say secrets make you sick but I just don’t think I have the strength and power to tell my closest family or friends as I am ashamed and feel like I will have let them down.