I am now 22, at 18 I had my first real boyfriend, who completely mentally and emotionally abused me, but of course in that moment I was in complete denial of the whole situation. After about a year of going out, things were getting worse. One night while having sex I asked him to please stop because it was painful for me, he kept going and said “shhhh” and put his hand over my mouth. I was just so traumatized!
I never went to the cops, I only told my friends after the relationship ended. So fast forward to early 2014. I meet this great guy, fall in love, as we got to know each other, I opened up about my past and he just kept putting me down asking why I never did anything; why didn’t I go to the cops, why didn’t I get him beaten up. The answer is that I was scared, and now after years have gone by, what is going to the cops going to do? Press charges, go to court, see his face, he might not even go to jail because it' ;s his word against mine. I’ll just pissed him off even more.
So now in June 2015, the man I fell in love with in 2014 didn’t turn out to be any better, he hit me. The worst part is that he completely denies it now. We have obviously broken up, and promised myself never again, but the truth is that we don’t know if they will hit us or rape us. No one goes into a relationship, and the other person admits to abuse. As much as I want to go to court, the truth is that I wouldn’t be doing it for myslef. I would just be pissing off 2 men with argue issues, who both know where I live. If I go to the cops, all that I could do is protect their future girlfriends or wives, because eventually they will find out. I don’t know if I’m willing to risk my safety and live every day in fear, as to what might happen if I do go forward with this……any body in the same boat as me?