I have read stories about sexual harassment. I didn’t think it would happen to me til it happened. It all started in the summer of 2010- I was 17. I was at my aunt’s house for a fourth of July cookout. My uncle picked up his son at his friend’s house. I came along. He stopped by Food’s Lion. I thought he was going to get food or something, only for him to unzip his pants and pulled out a condom. He wanted me to put it on for him. I looked around and I did it. I had my eyes closed. I didn’t know why he wanted me to. For my 18th birthday, he took me to the mall to buy me gifts. While we were waiting for the mall to open, he wanted me to touch his manhood again and he then kissed in between my legs. I looked around to make sure no one was looking. He brought me lingerie at Victoria Secrets. He asked me to model them for him but I made up excuses. He tells me how sexy I am and if I would help him. The more he kept doing t is, the more I avoided having a boyfriend. That last time he was around me was in September. He came by. It was just my little , our dad (he was taking a nap) and I. We were watching Child’s play 2. When my sister went upstairs, he had he came up behind me, trying to do “things”. I ran straight upstairs and when my older sister’s boyfriend came home, he left. I told my sister and she suggest that I report it. That Monday at school, I told my parenting teacher and she did not look happy. I talked to the social worker at school and she had two cops come in. The school officers were also involved. They asked me a lot of questions like if I had a boyfriend and if he ever tried to rape me. I felt much better for reporting it. After my parents found out, they told him he’s not allowed in the house or near me anymore. Ever since the incident, I have had nightmares and didn’t wanna date. I get scared to walk outside or wait for the bus as I fear that a stranger might appear out of nowhere and rape me or something. Being a victim of sexual assault is very scary but I learned to stand up for myself the next time it happens and let these men know that I am not a sex object- that I’m a human being. I am a survivor.
— Anna, age 23
Dear Anna – Thank you for sharing your story here. I so much appreciate the first part – “I didn’t think it would happen to me til it happened”. I think that’s such a common sentiment and I’m so grateful to you for your honesty in putting it out there. The reporting process can be arduous and I’m so glad that you had the support of your parents and that it made you feel better. What you are experiencing – hypervigilance waiting for the bus and nightmares – are common symptoms of PTSD. Opening up about what happened to you and working through the emotions (including the fear) can help control these symptoms. A counselor may be able to give you some tools to help you as well. I am so proud of you for how far you have come and know that you have a bright, happy, and beautiful future ahead of you. Love, Alexis
Dear Anna,
The effects you speak of are real and valid. It can take time to work through these emotions, but I have no doubt that it is possible to do. The important thing, I think, is to remember that you are in control of the journey. It takes a lot of courage to speak up. I hope you know that you doing so and then sharing about it here will inspire other survivors who may be thinking about disclosing. You are very brave. Light and love,
Alissa