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For the guy

For the guy I grew up with and saw as one of my best guy friends, the one I could play with and talk to for hours , maybe you didn’t know what you were doing or that it bothers me, maybe my shirt was too low cut but I guess if that what it was then it wouldn’t have happened when I tried to dress down so that you wouldn’t notice me, maybe I didn’t try hard enough to get you off, we’re about the same height so it makes me feel so weak and pathetic that I couldn’t get you off of me, maybe I wasn’t being clear enough with my “no’s” or “get off of me I’m serious”, since it wasn’t as bad as it could have I feel like I’m up overreacting that it wasn’t that bad, even as I type this I feel overdramatic, I searched the internet for what to call it but the ones I was getting I didn’t want to call it cause I didn’t want it to be true but, I had nightmares for a whole month every night about, when you came up behind me put your hand in my shirt and groped me as I tried to ask you and tried to get u off you said “I’ll let you go if you show me something” which I responded no with so you tried pulling down the front of my shirt, then you tried to put your hand down the front of my pants but I managed to move a way you couldn’t then you managed to slip your hand down the back of my pants for a quick second before I moved where you couldn’t so when you tried to pull down my pants and said “it’s like I’m molesting you” and you laughed, now I feel like I’m always on the verge of flipping if someone touched me unexpectedly especially my side or waste I jump I’m scared that if I go to do anything with anyone I’m gonna have a panic attack and freak out, I’m best friend with your cousin, all my friends hang out with you, and I have to pretend like I’m completely fine, which leaves me wondering do you even know that what you did bothers me or that you did something wrong at all, I feel like I’ve gotten it over it for the most part I just needed to write out how I feel.

— Survivor, age 16

2 comments

  • Alexis
  • TheCatcher

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