Forced to Have Sex with My Boyfriend

I was very young when the rapes and abuse started with my ex boyfriend. We had been dating less than a year and I did not have sex on my mind quite yet. One day I was hanging out in his room, his parents had just left us home alone. He pinned me down. I kicked, screamed, and cried. I begged him to stop, he didn’t. When he finished he kissed me saying too late, it will be okay, I love you. I was disgusted. A few months after I knew there was something wrong with me. I felt so odd, I just didn’t know what it was. A couple months later I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared. I didn’t tell my parents until I was 7 months pregnant. I didn’t know who to tell. I told my ex-boyfriend and he was angry. He beat me. He punched my stomach several times hoping I would loose my baby. Then I walked away crunched down, holding my belly, and crying. He just grabbed my wrist and kissed me and said that at least now he could have sex wit h me whenever he wanted. He also told me if I told my parents, I would never see the light of day again and my baby would definitely be gone. So I followed what he said. After that I was just trying to please him in anyway. I acted like I loved him so I wasn’t abused. He pushed me into “pleasing” him all the time. My baby was the only thing that kept me strong through out all of this. I told him I was going to tell my parents and he strangled me and told I wasn’t going to say a word. Later he got arrested for taking Xanax and both of our parents found out. Luckily after that the rapes stopped because my parents did not let me out of there sight, but the mental abuse and physical abuse went on. He pushed me and threatens me that if we could never be an actual couple again he would take my child away from me. It scared me. We moved and the baby is almost a year now. I hardly hear from him, but when I do it’s all threats. My life has gotten 100% better without him in it abusing me all the time. I just hope one day it can get even better for me. The abuse and rapes will stay with me for the rest of my life.