You are fearless – even when vulnerable. My story is different. I don’t know what is considered “rape” – my grandfather never inserted his penis inside me, but he licked me, touched me and massaged me. It was rape in my mind. He also raped my mind as he convinced me I liked it and was helping solve a great science mystery. I was 10.
Unlike you, I turned to promiscuity and drinking as a teen. In college I met a guy and became very close. He was the first person I told about my grandfather. He uses it against me when I wanted to break up and told my parents. Nothing was done. I was sent back to law school and told to keep my head high.
My grandfather dies, I don’t go to the funeral. He probably doesn’t know.
The most devastating day.
I am reading Little Women. My grandfather walks in. I keep reading. He closes the door. I keep reading. He sits on the bed. I keep reading. He touches my thigh. I keep reading. He pulls down my pants. I keep reading. He puts a finger inside me. I keep reading. He pushes his face between my legs. I keep reading. His tongue explores. I keep reading. I hear my grandmother creeping down the hall. I keep reading. What does she know? I keep reading. I can’t breathe. I keep reading. I am ashamed. I keep reading. She stops at the door. I keep reading. She walks away. I keep reading.
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