Hi Linor, hi everybody,
I was looking for a movie to watch tonight on Netflix and I found Linor’s documentary by coincidence (does coincidence exist? Linor would say that’s it’s God path, she is maybe right). I have been very touched by her project, her story, what she made with such a big suffering, creating something good with bad happens. Thank you about that, to you Linor, to all those women testimonies, you are all brave.
After watching Brave Miss World, I’ve now decided to speak up and say my story. I’m a french girl, and I met a girl a year ago, a foreigner, a South African one, and I fell in love with. I have been raped twice by her, the first time was in my own country and of course, the shame of something I didn’t know just blind my mind so I continue to have a relationship with her like anything has never happened. A “sex game” was cited to trivialize and justify that she made me suffer, enough to make her happy.
Few months later, I took the decision to follow her, in South Africa. Still in love, ignorant of the risks that I could have taken at this stage. Since the first moment we left France to travel in Africa, the mask fell down and she stated to become the monster I was talking to everyday, to whom I was sleeping with every night. My lifetime started to become a nightmare, step by step I needed to deal with a narcissistic, pervert personality. The one you would never ever suspect this multiple violent behavior in words and acts. I started to drink quite a lot, loosing my self-esteem increasingly, trying to protect myself against her manipulations by struggle. Once I understood that I should run away far from her, it was this morning she admitted that she raped me when I was asleep after a big argument. She was laughing about that, very proud to say that I “really appreciated it”. The truth is I can’t remember this night. Since that morning all the alarm bells rang so I chose to pretend and find any way to go home. Fortunately, an unexpected setup called me back in my country, I put few of my stuff in a bag quickly, asked her to bring me to the airport “wishing” she could find me back there. I don’t ear anything about her since I threat to publish all our 2.0 conversation on her social network profile (I stole her logs before closing it just before taking my flight and leaving my hell).
My mom helped me a lot to realize what happened, she greeted me and listened to me. She had the same supporting reaction than Linor’s mom.
I’m home since 37 days… And I only take the measure of all of it since 15 days… To the relief was succeeded the anger then the grief. In my case, the problem is that pressing charges against a foreigner, as a girl against another one is a brand-new situation. I mean, pressing charges against a man who raped a woman is already so difficult.
When I will cure and drain this part of my past I will maybe tell everyone what really happened. To my people first and also to her people, friends and family. Something can help my credibility : I know that this person had offensive physical touching with her own little brother and sister when they were younger.
For now, what I want to say is that I stop drinking any alcohol and I try hard to focus on new health practices. This is my short term revenge and for myself, my body only depends of me and I will prove it consequently.
Ladies, please, take care of yourself.
Emi, age 32