I fell asleep on a couch of my friend, coworker, and tutor. I knew his place to be a safe one. I even knew his roommate, a friend I’ve known since elementary school.
I woke up in his bed on my stomach with his on my back inside of me. I was too weak to make a noise and fell unconscious immediately.
I woke up with the stench of latex all over me and he said we shouldn’t be friends anymore. It was my 19th birthday. I got my clothes on and I went to school.
I didn’t tell anyone for 9 months. I knew this happens to everyone and I saw myself as nothing special or worth it to report him.
I’ve been ‘graped’ (the grey area of rape -Amy Schumer). I said no and he said “come on, all the guys left. Come on come on” and just inserted himself.
Doctors deem me with bipolar depression bouts and ADHD. I can’t hold a job, friendships, and am have suicide hotlines on speed dial for efficiency’s sake. I wonder if I would be this way if rape culture wasn’t OUR culture.
— Danielle Marcucci, age 22
Dear Danielle,
Thank you for speaking out and sharing your story with Brave Miss World. The fact that you didn’t tell anyone for 9 months because you “knew this happens to everyone…” says so much about the culture we live in. The thing is, rape is rape. Many of us believe that when rape happens by someone we know, trust, and/or love, that it is somehow less of a rape. It isn’t. The aftermath can, and most often is, very similar to rapes when there is no question that a rape occurred. Relationship challenges, suicidal thoughts, and having a hard time holding a job are common in the aftermath of rape. Please know that you are not alone and that these symptoms do not say anything about who you are. I hope that sharing your story helps you on your healing journey. You are worthy of a happy life and you deserve love and support. Please know that you have that here with the Brave Miss World community. With love, Alissa