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Happy Survivor

I am 14 years old and was raped over a year ago. It happened about 4-5 times my rapist was my step cousin.

When everyone was asleep he would sneak into my room. Seven months is how long I had kept it inside for with out telling anyone until one day I told my mother and it escalated from there on. I used to cut myself, and tried suicide many time. I used to feel like I didn’t belong, like I shouldn’t be alive.

If you’re feeling like that please don’t. There’s always hope. I know what you’re going through. I’ve been through it and I go through it everyday. I cry myself to sleep a lot and have nightmares. It was worse until I tried suicide and they put me on medication for depression and PTSD. I had took the medication for about two months and then stopped because it made me fill sad. I wanted to prove to everyone that I didn’t need it to heal myself and that everyone loves again. It’s taking me a year to heal.

I continue to heal day by day I graduated two weeks ago from all therapy. No one thought I could ever do it. When I first told and I had to speak to police and therapist. I even spoke in front of my rapist at court to share my testimony. For all you boys and girls out there that won’t speak up, please do. You need to so things will get better. Tell someone, report it. You wouldn’t want it to happen to someone else because no one deserves to go threw rape or any sexual assaults.

It makes me sick how we don’t have a good justice system. Rapist deserve to go to jail. They are predators and don’t belong in the world. For everyone out there that has been sexually assaulted don’t worry I swear in God’s name, it always gets better. Put your faith in God get all the help you can get, don’t be scared. At the beginning you will be quiet and will always be sad. You’ll become a whole different person. But, then after it feels great.

I am trying to become a advocate right now and try to go around speaking to campuses about rape. There are people out there that need our help, just like we needed someone take a stand for us. I used to be a sad depressed girl until I realized how I wouldn’t want it to happen to anyone else. I am very happy today. I have excellent grade,s excellent friends, healthy friendships. You may think there’s no hope, but there always is . Anything is possible and you can get healed. It just t takes time.

My rapist may have taken a valuable possession of mine, but he will never take my happiness and faith. He is no longer winning. I have won the battle and you can’t let your assaulter win. If anyone has questions would like to chat fill free to comment and I will comment my email to chat. Don’t be afraid they can’t hurt you anymore. Be happy and show him/her your still standing and your stronger than ever before.

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