In October 2012, a guy added me on Facebook. At the time i was only 16 and living in Sydney, Australia. This guy told me he was 17. We were talking for a week. He sounded nice and we agreed to meet up. He said he could drive and pick me up.
That afternoon he called me and i told him where to meet me, about a street over from where i was living. That night i left my house, saying i was going to the park. As i was about to cross the road, i saw it was actually a 30 year old man waiting for me. I turned around and thought to myself “i’m out of here”. But he got out and grabbed me by my arm, dragging me into his car. He got in and locked the doors and windows and drove.
The drive was about twenty minutes. The whole time he was asking me questions. About me, my life, my sexuality (as i’m bi). I was terrified. I thought he had a weapon. “So this is how i die?” I thought to myself. He drove to a reserve. It is renowned for rapes, there were no cars, people, lights or any form of civilisation.
Then he forced me to do things to him, after that he forced himself upon me. Then raped me. I cried and screamed. He choked me and told me to shut the f**k up. After that he dragged me back in the car, and drove me to the train station near my house. He asked me if i would consider this our first date, and if he could be my boyfriend. When he let me out the car he grabbed me and kissed me.
I ran and got lost. Crying in the street for a hour. Once i got home i showered. I felt so disgusting and dirty. My arms, legs and thighs were covered in bruises It took me two years to report it to police. Luckily they arrested him and he is now in jail.
— Michelle, age 19
I was just wondering how hard it was for the police to help you put this man in jail. I was raped 2 years ago and everyday I think about telling my uncle (he is a cop) and trying to get hime arrested but I wonder if it is just a waste of time because it has been so long.
Dear Kayla – My heart goes out to you because this is such a hard question. So much of whether a perpetrator is caught depends on location and who the detectives are… and sometimes just plain luck. I so much wish I could give you some real guidance, but what is right is so different from person to person. If you are seeing a therapist, it is worth discussing with him or her what the implications of reporting might be. Even if the police don’t catch him, it might not be a waste of time reporting it makes you feel heard or has other positive impacts on your outlook. But reporting it can be difficult, as Michelle indicated. I wish I could give you advice one way or the other, but please know I am thinking of you and sending you love and strength as you make this difficult decision. Alexis
Honestly the police response was terrible. I met up with two detectives who told me they would get my facebook, phone and medical records. Also interview a few people. They never did it. I didn’t hear anything for 3 months, then the case got transferred to a different police station, then for the third time got transferred.
It took 8 months to give a statement to police. Because i had his number, it was easy to track him. The poloce were able to identify him easily. I had to do a photo lineup on the computer. I had to pick out the photo of my rapist. After that came the worst part. They put a listening device on my phone, told me to call my rapist, talk to him and get a confession.
Aftee that he was arrested. It is very hard to locate the offender and even more so to put them in jail. It’s a he said, she said thing. Because there was no rape kit, dna, cctv, witnesses it makes ot hard to put them in jail unless they confess. My rapist confessed, which is a very rare thing. Only bad thing is because he pleads guilty, he gets a 25% discount off jail time
Dear Michelle – Thank you so much for posting your story here. I am very grateful that you had the strength to post this. I hope very much that his arrest was healing for you despite the horrible process that you went through with the police. Please take the time now to do what you need to continue to heal from your ordeal. Maybe through a therapist or a counselor. Opening up about what happened to you is so important and I am glad to took this step; you are very brave and I know you will continue to grow and heal and shine. Alexis – Brave Miss World team member
I am so sorry for your pain and I wish you all the best for the future love.