I shared my story a long time ago but as every survivor probably knows:
The assault, the rape or whatever happened to us – it entails serious consequences.
In my case, there are plenty of these effects that I am dealing with, such as depression, numbness, nausea, sense of helplessness, nightmares, low self esteem, the constant feeling of going crazy, anxiety etc.
I am living with it for more than 10 years and it got worse and worse – suicidal thoughts came to my mind (again).
After a long time I decided to look for a therapist, because I didn’t know how to deal with my negative emotions anymore and I finally found a lovely therapist.
After some months I was ready to write a letter to her about what happened to me.
When I wanted to read the letter out loud to her I broke down crying, my body was shaking and I realized how serious my problems were.
My therapist was comforting me. She helped me to stand up, she gave me her hand and helped me to realize that my reactions are common for survivors of sexual assault and this was so important to me:
She UNDERSTOOD my feelings, she understood me and she gave me NOT the feeling that my reactions were abnormal and crazy.
I have definitely still a long way to go but I would recommend every survivor out there to get help because we are worth it.
I have a wonderful boyfriend who is supporting me and with his help and my therapists help, I managed to realize that I am not alone and that even though I need to deal with a lot of negative consequences, I am able to love my life.
— Anna, age 23
Anna,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so grateful that you finally received the help that you needed and that you found someone who understood you. It is very common for survivors to feel misunderstood and alone and finding a therapist or a friend that can walk the journey with you can be life changing. The journey to heal can be a long one, but you are right, all survivors are worth it. Thank you for inspiring me. I have no doubt that your words will inspire anyone who reads this. Light and love to you, Alissa
Hey Alissa,
luckily I found my last posting because I just wanted to thank you so much for your answer!
I never thought that it would be so helpful to share my storie (with strangers) and I am thankful that I found this community, bravemissworld.com, because I realised that I am not alone with my nightmares.
My therapist diagnosed me with PTSD and I feel that she lifted a burden from my shoulders, because I thought that my reactions were crazy but now I know that my behaviour is common for survivors of sexual assault. You are right. It was life changing.
Thank you so much for your work, Alissa.
Light and love back to you, wherever you are,
xxx
Anna
I’m glad you found your post! You are most welcome, Anna.