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Heavy Is The Head

I was abused by a family member and a church member. It wasn’t until 20 years later that I told anyone. Even when you release such a tragic event from your mind, it does not go away like telling someone your sorry and they say I forgive you. You truly want those individuals, if not too afraid, to come to you and say they are sorry and us to be able to forgive them. Yet this will sadly never happen. So in the meantime the victims are left to search for forgiveness of themselves because a lot of times we are made to be instigators of such horrible crimes. Some made to feel this way by others and many made to feel as if it was their fault. Since these instances I have tried to take my life 3 times and have been placed in mental institutions. All of this after I had come to grips with what had really happened. 20 years held hostage by a secret and have spent the last years of my life dealing with the fallout of my sad coronation.

King for a day, no way, and Heavy Is My Head From Wearing This Crown. She, They…

Would It Have Mattered Anyway
 Drew Lancaster
She, They,… will re-read the letters
She, They… will finally break
Words now sink into the hearts
For now it is too late

Great grief sends realization
It cries, “I was never fake”
Just diferent in my instance
A diagnosis my state can never relate

Tis now true with honest hearts
A loss we now reflect
Begging for answers always
So often given you just did not get

Given in rhymes you got
Letters he composed
Given your time you had
Though the child moved rather slow

Given by reasons
Some acts never show
Given by his tears
He cried for you, you know

Given from the heart you took
One held far from the truth
In likeness you can’t deny this
His time on earth now through

Should you have the time
As I hope you do
Please read the letters
I wrote them all for you

Do not cry or even ask why
Let questions meet you here
When long from now on a cloud
We shall be the closer near

I wait for you by the still waters
Where tears are signs of hope
There we shall cry together
The depths you will finally know

Where truth is never exhausted
And love is a flowing spring
Where in grace I stand but all alone
Among the more bbeautifulthings YOU ARE ALL KINGS AND QUEENS.GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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