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Didn’t Know Until Later

I am 25 now, and when I was from the ages of 4 to 13 I was molested by my mother’s half sister. I didn’t realize it was molestation because I found out later on in life that she had been grooming me most of my life. I finally told my mother at age 16, after many years of severe depression and suicidal thoughts, I had to go to therapy and my therapist helped me tell my mother.

At age 19, I was at a friends house with a group of my male friends. We were talking and watching TV. Then they offered me vodka and orange juice. I thought ok maybe just one cup. I was distracted for a few seconds and they must have drugged me because the next thing I know I’m in a chair with a bag in my hand and the sun is out. They had put me in a big t-shirt and send me out in a cab. I was still very out of it and didn’t realize what had just happened. I got home and my hair was all messed up. My mom, who was very worried I didn’t come home the night before, confronted me. She took my phone and my clothes, which I later found out my skirt I was wearing had sperm on it. I didn’t know they had sex with me until 2 weeks later. I go to the hospital with that I thought was food poisoning and it turned out I was pregnant. I was terrified to tell my mom. I told her I was pregnant, I was getting an abortion, and I needed her to take me. I have been struggling with depression and suicide attempts most of my life. I have bordeline personality disorder and PTSD.

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