I’m 35 years old and I never spoke up for this or told anyone.
When I was on the fifth grade (10 years old) I played with my brother and my young sister the game “hide-and-seek” all over the house. I remember that it was my sister turn to count and my brother and I ran for a place to hide. My brother took my hand and lead me to the guestroom and then we bend down and he was behind me. He told me to take off my clothes and then he told me that it will be our secret. My brother he 2 years older than me and for more 2.5 years he “slept” with me. I wasn’t sure that you can consider this to a rape cause I liked it. Now I know that what I used to like was the attention and not more, I thought I have special relationship with my brother.
I didn’t tell anybody and it stopped cause I demand it and stood up for this, I knew it is wrong!
I will never expose it, cause I don’t want to split up our family and my parents.
I have a lot of anger of him cause I was just a child (he was too).
I’m sorry for that but can’t tell anyone and it’s difficult to handle a story like this without talking to him about this.
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I am glad you were able to share your story here. I know a woman in my recovery group who has a similar story, that her brother was her lover for most of her adolescence, so I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I hope you can find a women’s group for survivors of incest and sexual abuse to talk more because there is support out there and, and here! I am grateful to Brave Miss World for this support.
God will help you detangle all of this. Go to him.