I am currently 15. A freshman in high school. I excepted my first year of high school rough, but never this bad. Just 2 weeks before school was supposed to start I was raped. It was by a friend. Somebody I trusted. We we all over at his house just hanging out. A bunch of us. Swimming and having fun. People started to slowly leave but I decided to hang around longer. He asked if I wanted to hang out in his room. I knew it was a bad idea. I was 14 and never even had my first kiss, little alone been in a boys room alone with them. But I said yes. We hung out and he started to get touchy. I was uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to be rude. Things happened fast. He pushed me back on the bed and kissed me. I was shocked. I froze. Once he started to move his hangs around I then started squirming but he pinned me. I wasn’t dumb or naive. I was aware what was most likely about to happen. I started crying and begging him to stop. He just told me to “shut up” I was helplessly sobbing. Once it was all over he left the room. Leaving me. I gathered my clothes and walked home. I was crying all the way home. I felt wrong. I didn’t tell anybody. I was embarrassed. I though nobody would understand. Then I slowly started blaming myself. Maybe I led him on, maybe if I fought back harder it wouldn’t have happened, if I left earlier. I kept it all to myself. Isolated myself and started failing my first year of high school. I’m still dealing with it. I’m still scared it will happen again. I go to school with him. I don’t know what to do.