This all took place in the space of a week and this ls how it began
I knew of this guy through a mutual friend he was my of girls ex boyfriends I never actually met him in real life but I know who he was via Twitter. He entered my Dms at one point and I decided to ignore it you know sticking to ” girls code” but eventually I gave in & decided to start replying to him but in my head I kept on tell myself this won’t progress to anything but boy was I wrong he captured me with his charm and charisma & in a way I started to become interested in him but still put off seeing him because of ” girl code “. I tried my best & I believe I put up a strong fight it got to the point where I began to be so rude to him I don’t understand why he was still interested in seeing me at one point he said that I had a horrible attitude which I wanted to prove him wrong that’s why I agreed to see him
Anyways skip a few day later February 23rd (Tuesday) I gave in and agreed that he can come and see me via text & whatsapp (we exchanged numbers through he’s persuasive skills a day or so before). I told him that he could come & see me the next day but it had to be latest 7pm so that he could leave around 11pm as I wanted to go out later on, he asked me if he could stay the night which I replied with my saying no & that he must be out of my house by 11pm which he agreed to.
The day finally came I was excited to see him at all I just wanted to prove him different and show him I wasn’t a horrible person. 6pm came 7pm came 8, 9, 10:30pm came he finally got to my campus by a cab (which I had to pay for). He came up with a shit excuse as to why he was late I let it go and continued our meet up, this guy was the most funny, charming & good looking person I’ve seen in a long time but I had to block that out & remind myself of ” girl code “. We spoke for hours he then said that he can go home today as no buses where running so he had to stay round (looking back at it now I know he planned everything because he brought a duffer bag containing spare clothing & toothbrush etc). We continued to talk until eventually he fell asleep & I fell after, at 6:45am I woke up to call my dad for money & this is when it all took place.
As I was on the phone to my dad he kept on touching me which will then result to me removing he’s hand off my thigh & breast, but it once getting off the phone to my dad I sat up & firmly told him to stop which he did for a while I turned my back to him & began to fall back asleep where I felt he’s hand once again in my dress touching my thigh I told him to stop again which he did for about 3mins. I then felt he’s hand in my thigh getting closer to my personal area I tried to pull he hand out of my but I wasn’t strong enough he was in me he’s fingers that is I felt a sharp pain which ended up with me wiggling myself out of my single uni bed. I told him to stop what he’s doing and if he continued to do it he will have to go I got back in bed and laid on my back.. As I was laying he got on top of me and somehow separated my legs apart pulling my underwear as well. With one hand holding me down & the other separating my thighs he forced himself into my I Begged him to get off me when looking into he’s eyes I saw nothing but blackness I cried to the point where crying would hurt in a way I gave up I felt numb. With one last push I was able to get him off and I ran out of my room & that was it my story.
Maybe it was my fault. I really don’t know but one thing I know is that I am not a survivor because until this day the smiles and laughter I show is covering up the pain & tears I bleed. No one understands how I feel sometimes the flashbacks I deal with makes me think of suicidal thoughts. I’m tired of feeling like this, I’m tired of feeling the hurt.
When will it stop? Someone please tell me.
— Survivor, age 19