The man who did this to me was my boyfriend. His name is Brandon Cleine. We were both 17 at the time. Before it happened, I think to scare me he told me how he had raped another young girl before me when he was a young boy. He had also raped animals violently then killed them.
He was trying to have sex with me one day while he was at my house. I told him no. That was unacceptable to him.
At first he was kissing me, but I turned my head away. I was starting to get scared. I knew he was very strong and I would have no hope against him.
He pushed me on to the bed and forced my clothes off. I started screaming for him to stop, but he pushed me down harder as I was trying to push him off me.
He put his fingers inside my vagina. It was very painful. I screamed out, and he put his dirty other hand over my mouth.
He then put his penis inside my vagina. I was crying from the pain, tears were coming out of my eyes even though I could not speak. Later I found out he had ripped my vagina.
Next he did what he had always tried to force me to do. He forced his penis inside me anally. I thought I would die from the pain, but the worst was still about to happen.
He grabbed my hair and pulled my head down, forcing me to suck on his penis, choking me. When I nearly threw uo on him he bashed my head against the wall. He didn’t care who heard now, no one was coming.
His grip on me loosed and I finally got away. I pulled a shirt on and screamed at him to get out. He didn’t seem to think that he had done anything wrong. I kept screaming until he finally got out of my house. All of this happened on my bed, where I am sitting now.
After that I just went to sleep, I couldn’t handle being conscious.
It wasn’t until a year later that I remembered, and I went to the police but it didn’t even go to court because of lack of evidence. I am 19 now, and I am still scared of seeing him when I am out. I have PTSD, and I hallucinate and have flashbacks. I can barely stand living some days, as I also have Interstitial Cystitis, Fibromyalgia and mental illnesses that are major depression, severe anxiety and OCD. However I am stronger now, and I feel sorry for this small man who has to hurt women and animals to feel big. This horrible person should be locked up for life.
— Jen Boyd
Dearest Jen – thank you for sharing the details of your story with the Brave Miss World community. I hope that it brings you some comfort, healing, and hope that you are not alone and that others can help carry the weight of what happened to you. Healing from this can take a really long time, but you are on the right track. Sometimes the thought of living seems daunting. Try to remind yourself of how strong you are. Try to remind yourself that you wake up every day knowing you will confront the demons that haunt you and that you will end the day triumphant. Healing is possible and, as you said, you are stronger now. Thank you for speaking up. You are incredibly brave.
I have remembered more, how he kicked me in the stomach when I tried to get away and slapped me many times when I screamed. I remember him choking me with his penis and his hands during the rape. He also would choke me, slap me and push me over throughout the relationship I had with him. After he raped me I forgot all about the bad things he did to me until a year later and it was too late to convict him. However I am going to give anothef statement and try again.