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I am a survivor

I was first raped at the age of twelve, my school friend’s uncle, promised to take us to the movies, instead he took us to an isolated beach and grabbed me first, I tried fighting him but he was too strong for me, he hit me in my stomach and as i fell to the sand, he jumped on me and tore my clothes. He went on to rape me mercilessly. I had my eyes shut and screamed helplessly but he kept putting his hand to my mouth to shut me up. I must have fainted cause h next thing I saw was he running away. I dragged myself to the water, sobbing all the time, when suddenly I heard screams, I ran in the direction of the screams and there lay my friend also raped. Together we cried uncontrollably and comforted each other. That day we made a pact never to tell a soul cause it was her own uncle who did it to us. My life was turned upside down from that day. I could not concentrate i school and home life was a misery. I became a rebel.

Then it happened at the age of eighteen, a well dressed man followed me and offered me a lift, I hesitated, he seemed pleasant enough and I blindly took his offer of a lift to town. Instead he drove to the mines, and there he held me at knife point and brutally raped me, I managed to escape by biting on his hand. I ran to the police station and reported it, and they found him a few days later, he was arrested but nothing came of it, as the police did not check me up and they did not take me seriously . It was unheard of in those days. It was a shame for the woman and a sin.

The 3rd time I was raped at the age of 36 in my home. There was an armed robbery, the whole family was held and tortured for a few hours, I was raped by four men, the bullet missed me by inches. The police arrived a few hours later, told my husband to take me to hospital, there I was treated with shock and given a prescription for anti hiv medication. It took me 12 hours before I could get any help from hospital or police. The men were never found. I have had to heal by myself, with self help meditation, books and videos. Time to time I have flashbacks and sink into depression. I am 52 years old.

— Tracey


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