I Am Brave

My raped happened April 29th, 2014 in my home after a party I had thrown. My 3 best friends were there at the house with me when it happened. I was raped by 2 guys that I thought were my friends… I let them into my house not knowing that they had planned on doing this to me. They locked me in my mom’s room and had taken turns raping. I couldn’t do anything, but lay there and feel lifeless. I tried yelling for help and getting up, but was only thrown against the dresser and then having my mouth covered with their hands, I couldn’t breathe when I they did that so I choose to just stay quite and hope it was over soon. My friends finally came to the door and heard me saying “no”. They banged on the door many times, then finally opened the door.

They had no shame in what they did because they were drunk. As they opened the door I stood there half naked trying to put my underwear and clothes on without busting into tears. After they left my friends thought I was just having sex with them, it hurt to even know they thought that…I was so angry and upset, I went into my mom’s room and just balled my eyes out, I couldn’t move, I felt so ashamed and dirty after. I finally texted one of my friends saying “They raped me…”. A few seconds later they came in and after that began the whole process of filing charges. They were able to catch one of the guys, while the other ran to Mexico and is still hiding out there.

It was really hard facing everyone as the bad guy, it killed me hearing all the mean and hurtful things that people were saying about me, but all I could do was remind myself that they weren’t there. It was hard losing the 3 people that I thought would be there for me through all of this. I am now awaiting for my trial in November.

To this day I still have flashbacks of the rape, but I have learned to cope with them. I have became a lot stronger from it and I have changed some things in my life. I am a survivor of rape.