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I Barely Knew Them

When I was 15, I went to the parade for my local fire department with my best friend. I was in good spirits, and the day seemed to be going well. As it was getting dark, my friend and I met this group of 4 guys in the park, and my friend thought they were all cute and immediately began flirting with them. I was/still am a lot more shy than her, so it took me a while to warm up, but I did eventually. After a bit of chit chat, my friend went off with one of them to go make out or whatever which seemed in innocent enough. I wasn’t comfortable with her leaving but I didn’t want to hold her back. When she left, another one of these new acquaintances went home, so I was left with 2 of them.

Immediately I got more uncomfortable. It was late at this time, so there was nobody around and it was dark. They began pestering me about how pretty I was, so of course I said thank you. After a while it began turning into more sexual compliments, and it really made me squirm. I said I wanted to go find my friend and they made me feel bad by saying I didn’t want to hangout with them, so I stayed. It was some point after this that I was forced to take my clothes off. They then proceeded to take turns raping me.They were definitely bigger than me, so after a while I didn’t fight back and just took it. It all feels like a blur in my mind because my adrenaline was skyrocketing. I honestly only remember bits and pieces. My friend returned about an hour later and although I was upset and distraught, I tried to act as normal as possible. I told her a few weeks later after I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. She helped me gain the courage to tell my parents and the police, but the police said with no evidence they couldn’t do anything.

A few days later, the boys told everybody that I allowed it and was begging for it, and I have been called a slut for about a year straight afterwards, and it bothered me at first but now, I could care less. I’m not the disgusting person, they are. Just because a person does not fight back, doesn’t mean it is consensual sex. And honestly I don’t care if anybody believes this story. What I want to convey is that you should never feel ashamed for being raped, because it is not your fault. It’s theirs.

— Samantha, age 17


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