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I Didn’t Know What Happened

When I was 6 years old. I lived in the same building as my cousins. I spent everyday after school over there since my parents were working long hours. For about a week my girl cousin had detention and didn’t get home until an hour after school. So I walked home alone. The first two days were fine. But on the third day, my guy cousin who was 17 at the time came into the room I was in, and told me we were going to have some fun. He pulled down his pants and told me to get on my knees. It went on from there. I had an idea that what happened was bad but he told me he would hit me and so would my mom if I told. So I didn’t. This happened twice. I realized I should have told but it had been a few months since then. I thought if I told someone then, they would think I was lying. It’s been 11 years. I’m 17 now. Only 2 of my friends know I was assaulted. They dont know how, when or by who. I’m trying my hardest to find the best way to tell my mother. I just dont know how. I’ve been dealing with it since then. I’m still a pretty outgoing person. Most of the time, I write to express myself. I do spoken word poetry, but it is too scary to share the poems about him. I still see him when my family goes to visit. He acts like nothing happened. But I fear for myself when I’m alone in the same room as him and I’m also afraid for my siblings.

— Abi, age 17


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