I started counseling December 3, 2014. I’ve know since the 6th grade that I was sexually assaulted as a young girl. But It was fuzzy. I couldn’t remember much of anything. I told my guidance counselor, who then brought in my mother. She cried. A lot. Then she called my Dad, who asked me why I never told him. Then…..we never spoke of it again. I continued ti have night terrors. My depression and anxiety grew with me. Although I didn’t know that’s what it was. My mother took to calling me sensitive. Dramatic. My step father spanked me and grounded me every chance he got. I was all alone in the world and I hated myself. I’ve contemplated suicide more times that I’ve told someone I love them in my life. The raging feelings were to big for my body or my mind and at times I just knew that I was going to die. I finally cracked after meeting my wife….I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t happy. I had my first real panic attack and it hurt so badly. So i did it. I went to counseling. And it has gotten so much worse before getting better. I know who did it. I know why he hated me so much. I know why my mother is in denial. I know who my step father really is. And the worse part, is I’m the only one. I’m still battling. I am NOT Brave. But I WILL be.
— Lori Ann