It was on a beautiful sunny day I woke up feeling happy. I remember I thought of what could probably make me happy at that time in the morning, then I remembered I had to go to this guy’s place. The guy we have been talking for a while but I had no projects for him. It wasn’t my first time going to his place so I felt it was okay for this time again. He looked very organized as if he had planned for that day and for my venue. I sat on the couch watching TV and he came and told me he had something to tell me so I stood up innocently. I felt so unharmed. Then he took me to his room. He immediately shut the door and started to kiss me. I started freaking out and told him that I want him to stop and let me go. He did not listen instead took off his clothes and fought with me. I cried, prayed him to stop but he wouldn’t listen. I cried all the tears in my eyes but none could hear me or help me. I stood there helpless, I felt so worthless, it was the worst experience in all the feeling of worthlessness. I have both my parents but none was there that time, friends, family. I felt lonely and helpless. Then I laid there and he did what he had to do, for some hours I felt all alone in that dark room. I felt worthless.
— Survivor, age 20
Dear survivor,
What he did to you is not a reflection of you or your worth. You are so much more than what he did to you, but I do understand feeling worthless like this. You are so brave for sharing your story here. I hope it brings you some peace. You were alone in that dark room, but you are not alone now. I am sending lots of love your way! ~ Alissa