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I guess it was rape

Took me 6 years before I told myself that I was raped. It was valentines day 2011 when I was with my boyfriend, I was with him for maybe 4 months by that time (just a dumb high school relationship). He always pressured me for sex, but I always told him no as I was a virgin and wanted to keep it for marriage. On valentines day I guess I finally gave in, but I would only let him go so far. He just wanted to put the “tip” of it in, nothing more, and with no condom. Why I said OKAY is beyond me, maybe it was my way of hoping that he would stop asking? I was FREAKED OUT about it, wasn’t comfortable with the idea, and was waiting for him to simply get off of me. Instead HE decided on pushing all the way in, something I wasn’t prepared for, and something that was beyond painful! About a minute later he got off me, and I got up off the bed and went into the bathroom. Did my best on not crying. He said he was sorry for causing me pain, but he also said it was going to happen eventually and that I should be happy!
A week later I let him have actual sex with me. All I could think about was my mom and dad and wondering what they would think of me. A week after that he ended up dumping me for some other girl.
I was 14, a freshman in high school, and I was raped. I never looked at it as rape but I now know that I was. All he honestly wanted from me was my virginity and nothing more.
I read a good dozen stories on here and I feel like my story is so minuscule, but I felt like I had to at least add my story to this board.

— Jessica

2 comments

  • Brie
  • Tanweer

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