I Had No Idea…

Well my story is like any other story I guess. Well it all started when I was 14 and my brother was 16 years old. Since my parents divorced I stayed with my mom and my brother went to live with my dad in Florida. And for the summer my mom would fly me to my father’s place in Pensacola Florida for 2 weeks during July. I loved my brother we both liked the same things we played Xbox but I don’t know Its complicated. So the first night went okay me and my brother played Xbox played with his friends playing halo 3. Well he started to do more stuff during the day like hold my hand and twirl my hair while we were playing halo. He never did any of that stuff before I don’t know if it was because we’ve been separated or something else. Then at night we slept on the air mattress together in the back room where’d we play Xbox I was laying on my side covered up in my blankets in my night clothes which was a tank top and a pair of sweats. Then he turned to face me and started rubbing my back running his fingers through my hair. Then you know it went on to touching and sexual thing but I’m not sure why but I just didn’t do anything..i didn’t move I didn’t try to stop him I did once and he held my arms down and covered my mouth. But I just laid there thinking to myself my brother who I loved what is he doing to me why is this happening what should I do? Then eventually I just fell asleep because I didn’t want to be awake anymore. Then morning came and i woke up and my dad cooked breakfast my brother was sitting at the table eating his breakfast acting like nothing had happened not looking at me I had no idea what to do…so I decided not sure why but I wouldn’t tell anybody and just to shorten things it happened everyday for those two weeks repeatedly and sometimes I would just be asleep and he would still rape me and in the morning he just did the same things he did he talked to me like normal he played halo like normal but at night I would just go to sleep and when i woke up there was just this awful smell and the sheets would have semen on it…and when I went back home to Texas with my mom I tried to tell her. But she said how could you say that about your brother he’s only 16 years old he could never rape anyone or hurt anything. So even my own mom didn’t believe me so I figured no one would so every summer I went to my dad for two weeks the same thing until I was 16 years old then my dad didn’t want to see me and or mom anymore because my dad and my mom got in a big fight. I am 19 years old and living with my aunt and uncle in me Jersey I still im living with this but i am strong and I can push forward I do not blame myself I understand it is his fault it’s just Some times your brother or any family member isn’t who you thought they were…

— Survivor, age 19