I Had No Voice

One night we had a party at my house for my oldest sisters birthday. We were all drinking except for my other sister(not the one who’s birthday it was) her and her boyfriend got in an argument and she left. I am a lesbian and have no interest in guys whatsoever. He knows that. But I was talking to him so he wouldn’t be left out. He’s been in the family for about 4 years. I never expected anything from him nor were my intentions to lead him on. I was just trying to have a casual conversation
I knew I was drunk and that I needed to go to bed. So I went in my room and I was laying down. He walked in my room to check on me. I told him I was fine and I rolled over. He then proceeded to take off my panties and unbuckle his pants. I realized what was going on but I could not physically speak. As badly as I wanted to I couldn’t. I could hear my sister looking for him and I still couldn’t say anything. I was practically frozen and I couldn’t figure out why.

My sister then walked in the room and he ran out. She beat me and called me the whore. My girlfriend came home the next morning and seen my face. I explained what happened. She beat me too called me names and then left. Everyone blamed me for it so I started believing it was my fault too. I never told anyone until a month later I finally told my mom what had happened. Two months after that I told my dad. And a month after that I told my closest friend. Those are the only people that know what had happened.

But besides them I’m still the one at fault to anyone else who knows since I couldn’t physically speak and use my voice. “When I Had A Voice” is what I’m told often. My girlfriend still blames me. And my sister is still with her boyfriend. 8 Months later.