Family friends came down for the holidays.
Lots of people I didn’t know…
I still don’t know.
There was one guy in particular (not mentioning names)
He seemed sweet. He was 16.
He was so nice to me.
Complimented me.
Something just seemed…off.
I was 13 at the time.
It was late at night we were in the kitchen talking.
He had asked me if I had ever gotten drunk.
Of course, I hadn’t so I said no.
He brushed the inside of my thigh with his index finger and said he had alcohol and thought I should experience at least being “tipsy.”
I denied at first but he insisted so I eventually gave in.
He gave me the worst tasting drink I’ve ever had.
He said taste doesn’t matter, effect does.
I thought it was odd he wasn’t drinking also, but I didn’t say anything about it. I didn’t really think much of it.
So I kept drinking…and there’s a big gap between there and when I woke up..
I was in bed, I don’t know how I got there.
I woke up and felt him.
I felt him you know.
I didn’t want to..at first I was confused .. But then I realized what was happening. I wish I didn’t wake up. I wish I didn’t remember. But I do.
I tried pushing him off but I my movements were sluggish and weak..
I tried speaking.. I tried to tell him stop, to get off of me and away from me.
But nothing came out when I opened my mouth.
He was hurting me and I couldn’t do anything about it.
I wish I didn’t remember.
I don’t want to.
But I do.
— Lexie, age 14
Dearest Lexie,
I am so proud of you for writing your story here. I don’t know if you’ve talked about it before, but writing it down, putting words to what happened to you can be very helpful and healing. He did a terrible thing to you and it will take time to work through. It can be incredibly painful to remember what happened and it makes perfect sense to want to forget it. I believe that healing is possible and that you deserve that healing. I am really glad you shared your story. I hope it helps you move through your pain. I will keep you in my thoughts. I am sending you lots of love ~ Alissa