I got raped when I was 10 but I won’t he talking about it today. Instead I will tell you a different one. When I was seventeen, I met this guy online, he seemed really nice. We couldn’t meet cause we lived in different towns. I graduated and went to college. The same town he lived in. We met and we got a long pretty well. He asked me out and I said yes. He kept asking me to have sex with him but I said no. So one day he told me his cousin wanted to meet me. I agreed and went to see him we went into his cousin’s room there I met 2 other girls we chatted for a while and they all decided to leave. His cousin left but he locked the door from the outside. I told my boyfriend why he did that and he said. His cousin did not want someone to walk in on us. Nothing was happening so why would he lock the door. My boyfriend began to pressure me but when I said no he got angry and decided to force me. I was screaming and crying for help. I could hear his cousin and his friends talking just outside the room but none of them came. When he was done he called his cousin to open the door and he took away my clothes and left. Knowing there was no way I would leave without my clothes. He locked the door and left. The next morning he came and he had sex with me. This kept going on for a week. I was really scared. His cousin stopped coming. By the end of the week he got a call from my mom. I really don’t know what they spoke about but he decided to let me go. When I left. Some guy told me that I should dare not tell anyone about what happened unless they would make sure I regret it. So I didn’t tell anyone but I started avoiding my boyfriend. Everyone at my college knew him. And it was like he told people to follow me around. Cause he always knew where I was even when I lied to him. One day him and the man called me and told me we should meet and that I had to come and alone. So I went and they both told me I had to do whatever they wanted cause they had a video. So I did whatever they wanted for 2 years. Everyone thought we were still dating. My best friend liked him a lot and thought he was very nice but she didn’t know what was going on. The only think I asked them that they agreed to was that the should pls never lock me up again. I got to change school eventually but the video was still my problem. After 2 months my boyfriend well we already broke up. Told me the video had been deleted and he was sorry. He kept telling my best friend to talk to me he did not tell her what happened and I did not either but he made her think he did nothing wrong and till today she keeps talking about him and it is soo annoying but I can’t tell her what happened and I can’t tell anyone. I feel so ashamed to face anyone and tell them. I mean no one forced me to date when I barely knew him. I was the one that agreed to meet his cousin. I didn’t tell anyone about it. It would have stopped after that week of I had told someone but I didn’t. I couldn’t do it.
— Sana, age 20
good for you, I think you are brave to tell your story. you did what was best and you made it threw. good for you
Dear Sana – what happened to you is absolutely not your fault!!!! Going on a date with someone does NOT give them permission to do what they did to you. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You didn’t tell anyone that week but you were scared and did what you had to do. That doesn’t mean you can’t tell someone now. I know it’s REALLY scary to think about but if you can find the right person to tell… it can help so much. If you don’t want to tell someone you know, maybe you can find a counselor to talk to (maybe through your university?) to get some of what you’re feeling out? It’s worth it and you are worth fighting for. You are beautiful and wonderful and I’m so grateful you posted your story here. Sending you love and solidarity! Alexis