I Thought He Cared

It all started in 7th grade. I was some what popular spoke my mind about things I tho was wrong even tried to break up a fight once. My boldness is what caught his attention. We started out as friends laughing about almost everything but I soon became interested in being more than friends and I let him know how I felt. One day I was headed to my last class of the day when he stopped me and asked me if he could touch my ass I was appalled at the idea but he just kept pressing me and so I let him. He continued that for a couple of days before making his new move. He asked me to meet him in the library to talk and I agree because I st really liked him. He led me into the darkest part of the library before grabbing my arm and pulling me down with him. I struggled but it was useless he was so much stronger than me so I stopped and let him hump me while sticking his hand down my shirt. We didn’t have sex but it was so close to it that I freaked and ran home crying. I was scared of him then but I still liked him. I didn’t tell anyone about what was happening. This continued for months and every once and awhile I would say I was on my period so he wouldn’t stick his hand down my pants. I finally told my mom what happened a week before 8th grade was due to start. it was too late for the cops to do anything except talk to him. The day 8th grade started I constantly looked over my shoulder and found him glaring at me several times a day. I finally had enough of it and apologized to him for telling he just looked at me and grinned he said that if I really wanted to make it up to him I had to let him touch me again. I reluctantly agreed because I could see a fire burning in his eyes. I ditched the first time I was supposed to meet him in the library and was rewarded the next day by being slammed into the lockers. He said if I ditched again I would be in a world of pain. So I went several times before the month of December. finally on December 4 2012 he called me and said that if I di let him bring me home to be touched he would tell the whole school I sucked his dick. I agreed. The next day I was a nervous reck and whenever he saw me he would remind me of our plans. When the final bell rang I left my class faster than ever hoping to be gone before he was ready to leave but he already anticipated that. We stayed talking to friends for a few min before I left followed by him. When we got to residential areas he would slap my butt to get me walking faster. I walked the mile to my house in 5 minutes. We went in through the back doors and went into my mothers room. I sat on the bed ready for him to touch me but instead he started to get undressed. I flipped and tried to run out the door but he just grabbed me and threw me onto the bed and finished getting undressed. He had a boner but I couldn’t do anything. He got me undressed and had to sit on my chest to get my pants off. He tr ied to get inside me but I made it extremely difficult he tried putting me on top him but I just rolled off. He tried again and I cri out in pain asking him to please stop he said it doesn’t hurt I yelled that it did and he let me put my underwear back on. But kept jumping me ordering me to kiss him. He stopped when he heard the front door open and close and quickly got dressed. He tried going out the window but couldn’t. I sighed telling him I would help him. I went to the living room half dressed saying I was about to take a shower. I snuck him out when no one was looking. I don’t know why I di out him but when he left I couldn’t stop my body from shaking and the tears to stop. I told them a lie about being raped on my way home. Told the cops the same story too until they started to question me then I told them the truth but it was too late they didn’t be me anymore he had already gotten an alibi too. I was sent to the hospital several times on suicide watch even my mom didn’t believe me. No one did he is still out there I ran into him in high school and was forced to switch schools to leave all my friends behind. After all he did to me I still had feelings sorta like love towards him I don’t know why I hate him but I can’t stop myself from liking him. I hate myself everything that happened was all my fault I could have gotten him caught neumerous times yet I did take that opportunity. If anyone has a story similar to mine or is going through what I did listen, if you have a chance to be believed take it no one understands how much it hurts when no one does believe you.